Train Kai to be your social life assistant

The five-minute training conversation, what Kai asks, what it remembers, what it does with it afterwards, and how to change your answers.

Updated September 22, 2026

Kai drafts events well without knowing anything about you. Training is how it starts planning ahead: it learns whose birthdays are coming, which holidays you host, what you love doing and with whom, and how far in advance you like to get organized.

Start training

On the web (and Android)

On your Dashboard, tap the card Train your social life assistant (Five minutes with Kai so it can help you plan birthdays, holidays, and get-togethers). It opens Kai in training mode. The Kai screen also has a Train your assistant chip.

On iPhone

Tap the Train your social life assistant card above the tab bar (5 minutes with Kai so it can help you plan ahead). If you haven't turned Kai on yet, the Meet Kai screen comes first (below).

The six sections

Kai walks through them in order, one question at a time. Cards save as you go, so you can answer in the chat or on the card.

  1. Your people. Add your household: names, relationships, birthdays. If a partner already set some up, Kai asks you to confirm them. It also offers to connect your household on Luau, and anyone new gets a text invite.
  2. The days that matter. Tap the holidays you celebrate and flip on the ones you host; add your anniversary and any other special dates.
  3. Your teams. Who you root for, and how you like to watch: out at a bar, tailgating, or hosting a watch party.
  4. What you love doing. Your Social Sparks: the get-togethers you actually enjoy. Tap everything that sounds like you, and add your own.
  5. Your goals. The social goals you want Kai's help with, in your own words if you like.
  6. Buffers. How far ahead Kai should start planning each kind of thing.

Kai closes with a recap of what it learned and a reminder that everything is editable in Settings → Social Profile.

On iPhone

One extra step on iPhone, once: One last thing — location (Suggestions near your real life, and automatic event check-ins. We never sell your location information.) with a Turn On Location button. It's optional; see PartyPass and check-in for what location does.

What Kai does with it

  • Planning nudges. Ahead of a birthday, anniversary, holiday you host, or a goal you set, Kai reaches out with a draft, timed by your buffers.
  • Social Spark suggestions. With your calendar connected and availability matching on, Kai looks for weekends where several of your people who share a spark are all free, and offers to put out feelers. See Connect your calendar.
  • Better invite lists. When you plan something with Kai, its suggestions rank your mutuals by how close you are, shared sparks, and who looks free.
  • Nudges are capped at a couple per week. Training and nudges are free; Luau+ (a paid tier in preorder) adds further Kai features on top.

Change your answers

On the web (and Android)

Dashboard → Settings: household, holidays, dates, teams, Social Sparks, goals, and buffers each have their own editor.

On iPhone

Profile → Social Life: the same editors.

Completed sections aren't asked again if you reopen training; edit them here instead. The training card disappears from your dashboard once all six are done.

About Kai and your data

On iPhone

The first time you open Kai on iPhone you'll see Meet Kai (Luau's AI host. Powered by OpenAI.), listing exactly what OpenAI receives for each capability, for example Drafts your events — OpenAI receives: your prompt + event details. Use Kai turns it on; Skip for now leaves it off for now and asks again next time. Turn it off any time in Profile → AI Assistant.

On the web (and Android)

Dashboard → Profile → AI Assistant manages what Kai shares with OpenAI on your behalf.

OpenAI doesn't train on your data. Your training answers live on your Luau profile and are used for your own suggestions only.

What Kai can and can't do today

  • Can: draft and create events and series, build a sign-up board when you mention volunteers, edit a created event in plain language (move it to 6, swap the photo), and send you planning nudges.
  • Can't, inside the Luau chat: message your guests or send invites for you.
  • Connected assistants (ChatGPT and others) can do more. Setup instructions and a paste-ready prompt are at luau.co/developers/muse; you sign in and approve the permissions on a Luau consent screen: see your events and RSVPs, create and update events and Hangvites, see your friends and who might be free, invite guests and send reminders on your behalf, and RSVP for you. To disconnect, remove the connector in the assistant's own settings; Luau has no revoke screen yet.
  • Planning nudges are turned off under Kai suggestions in Dashboard → Settings → Notifications.
Questions

Frequently asked.

What does training Kai do?
It gives Kai the facts it needs to plan ahead for you: your household and their birthdays, the holidays you celebrate or host, your teams, the get-togethers you enjoy (Social Sparks), your social goals, and how far ahead you like to plan. Afterwards Kai starts nudging you at the right moments instead of waiting to be asked.
How long does it take?
About five minutes. There are six short sections, and you can stop and pick up where you left off.
What does Kai ask?
Your people (household names, relationships, birthdays), the days that matter (holidays, anniversary, other special dates), your teams and how you like to watch, what you love doing, your social goals, and buffers (how far ahead Kai should start planning each kind of thing).
What changes after I finish?
Kai sends planning nudges ahead of birthdays, holidays, and your goals; Social Spark suggestions turn on (e.g. 4 of your people are free Saturday and like pickleball); and when you plan something, Kai ranks who to invite by closeness and shared interests.
Can I change my answers later?
Yes. On the web, Dashboard → Settings (Kai's recap calls it Settings → Social Profile); on iPhone, Profile → Social Life. Household, holidays, dates, teams, Social Sparks, goals, and buffers each have an editor.
Can I start the training over?
Not from the app. Sections you've completed aren't re-asked; edit them in Settings instead.
Where does my data go? Is it used to train AI?
Kai is powered by OpenAI, which receives your prompt and event details to draft replies and doesn't train on your data. You can turn Kai off any time in Profile → AI Assistant. Your answers are stored on your Luau profile and used only for your own suggestions.
Can Kai message my friends for me?
Inside the Luau chat, no: Kai drafts and creates events and sign-up boards, and edits them, but never messages guests on your behalf. If you connect Kai to an assistant like ChatGPT, you choose during setup whether it may invite guests and send reminders for you.