# Mutuals, your real crew on Luau > What a mutual is, how two people become mutuals, what the list shows, why you can't import contacts, and how connection strength works. Source: https://luau.co/help/mutuals · Updated 2026-09-22 · Index: https://luau.co/help/llms.txt Luau doesn't have "friends" you add from a contact list. It has **mutuals**: people you've actually been to something with. They're who you can invite through Luau, who Kai suggests when you plan, and who can receive your Hangvites. ## How two people become mutuals - **You both RSVP Going to the same event.** That's the main way. Hosts count as Going to their own events, so hosting makes you mutuals with every guest who says yes. - A host **RSVPs you** to their event on your behalf (they can only do that for people they're already connected with). - You **check in** at the same event. - Someone adds you to their **Hangvite crew** with an invite link, or you accept their Hangvite (that counts as Going). Maybe, Can't, and the waitlist don't create mutuals. Plus-ones don't either; the person who RSVP'd does. **Big events are different.** If an event has more than 40 people going, Luau doesn't turn everyone there into a mutual; one fundraiser would otherwise put dozens of strangers on your list. You still become mutuals with people from that event whom you invited, who invited you, or whom you've seen at smaller things. New mutuals appear after Luau processes the RSVPs, so give it a little while. ## What the list shows **On the web (app.luau.co in any browser — this is also the Android experience):** **Dashboard → Mutuals** shows a card per person with their photo, name, and **Last seen** (*3 days ago*, *a week ago*, a date). Open one to see **Events attended**, a **Connection strength** meter, the events you've shared, and an **Invite to events** list of your upcoming events with a share button for each. There's also a **Relationship map**, a visual graph of who you've hung out with. **In Luau for iPhone:** The **Mutuals** tab lists everyone with a strength meter (snowflake to flame) and an *N upcoming* pill for people on your upcoming events. Tap a person for **Connection Strength** (*Just met*, *New connection*, *Growing connection*, *Strong connection*, *Very strong connection*), when you last saw each other, **Avg between hangs**, a Hangvite crew toggle, shared events, and **Invite to events**. The **Map** button shows your relationship graph, and the ⓘ opens a short explainer. ## Connection strength Strength grows when you attend things together, and it decays slowly when you don't. Small hangs count for more than big events: a dinner for four moves the needle far more than a 40-person party, and events over 40 people don't count at all. Checked-in attendance counts more than an RSVP, and a no-show at an event that verified attendance counts for nothing. Luau doesn't publish the exact formula so it can't be gamed. Strength is what ranks your mutuals in search and share lists, and what Kai uses when it suggests who to invite. ## Why there's no contact import Every invite Luau sends comes from a real relationship, which is why people answer them. So there's no address-book import, no bulk texting a list, and an account that is both brand new (under a day old) and has no mutuals can't have Luau send invites for it until it has been to an event or accepted one. Sharing the link yourself always works. See [Invite guests](https://luau.co/help/invite-guests). ## Block **In Luau for iPhone:** Open the person, tap **•••**, and choose **Block** (or **Report**). Blocked people leave your mutuals and search results, and neither of you can invite the other. Events you're both already attending stay visible. **On the web (app.luau.co in any browser — this is also the Android experience):** Blocking is available from a person's profile in the iPhone app; the block applies everywhere, including the web. There's no "remove mutual". If the person isn't a problem, they simply fade down the list as time passes without a hang. ## Add someone directly **On the web (app.luau.co in any browser — this is also the Android experience):** **Dashboard → Mutuals → Add Mutual** shares one of your events with a Luau user by their email address; if they RSVP Going you become mutuals. It can't invite someone who isn't on Luau yet; send them the event link instead. ## Frequently asked **Q: What is a mutual?** Someone you can invite to events through Luau. People land on your Mutuals list after you've been to something together for real: both of you RSVP'd Going to the same event. **Q: How do I make mutuals?** Go to events and RSVP Going, or host one: the host and every Going guest become mutuals with each other. Adding someone to a Hangvite crew, checking in at the same event, and a host RSVPing you to their event all count too. **Q: I went to an event with someone. Why aren't we mutuals?** Both of you need to have been marked Going; Maybe and the waitlist don't count. Very large events (more than 40 people going) don't add everyone there to your list. New mutuals can also take a little while to appear. **Q: Why can't I import my contacts as mutuals?** To stop spam. Your mutuals are people you actually hang out with, which is what makes an invite from Luau worth answering. **Q: What does connection strength mean?** How close Luau thinks you are, from Just met to Very strong connection. Smaller, more recent hangs count for more than a big event long ago. The exact formula isn't published so it can't be gamed. **Q: Can I remove or block a mutual?** You can block someone from their profile (••• → Block). Blocked people disappear from your mutuals and search, and neither of you can invite the other. There's no separate remove. **Q: Where do I see my mutuals?** Dashboard → Mutuals on the web, the Mutuals tab in the iPhone app. Each person shows when you last saw each other, how many events you've attended together, and your connection strength.